0:05 I spent the first 30 years of my life searching for a feeling a feeling of purpose a feeling of connection a feeling of being desired and appreciated I was searching for this feeling in all the wrong places through romantic relationships through career achievements through night clubs and worst of all through the validation and opinions of others nothing in my life
0:38 was working out the way I wanted it to nothing was giving me that feeling I was searching for and all of a sudden I spiraled into a depression I was what appeared to be happy on the outside I wore a smile things looked perfect from the outside but on the inside I felt lost scared and alone I don't even know how it happened or how I got to that saddened State have you ever been at a
1:08 space where things looked a lot better on the outside then they felt on the inside I remember sitting on my sofa staring at the clock every day waiting for 5:00 p.m. because that's when it felt acceptable for me to have a glass of wine to take the edge off I remember this one particular day sitting there waiting and all of a sudden I burst into tears I felt desperate I felt scared and for
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